Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Bob Marley
Mr Beedle reunites Damian and Bob Marley and make them runaway from a bunch a aliens with lazer guns.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Quick thoughts
music, art, consciousness, grime, crunk, manicures, vh1, macs, tight jeans
parties, good books, newportbeach bitches who know how to live
hemmingway southerngothic seltzer boots sand bunnyfur running leather
workout tapes gold bumping bass nikes febreeze creamcicles featherbed
air horses clubbing congolese dance peace
parties, good books, newportbeach bitches who know how to live
hemmingway southerngothic seltzer boots sand bunnyfur running leather
workout tapes gold bumping bass nikes febreeze creamcicles featherbed
air horses clubbing congolese dance peace
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuna melt
Ingredients
• 8 oz Italian tuna packed in olive oil, drained, with 1 tbsp oil reserved
• Charred-rosemary mayonnaise (see below)
• 1/8 cup celery hearts, finely chopped
• 1/2 tsp celery seed
• Coarse salt and ground black pepper
• 4 slices multigrain bread
• 4 slices (about 4 oz) Gruyère cheese
• Unsalted butter
Method
Gently flake tuna and place in stainless-steel bowl. Fold in desired amount of mayo, chopped celery, and celery seed, adding salt and pepper to taste. Lay bread on work surface. Spread tuna on two slices and layer with Gruyère. Top with remaining bread slices and press lightly with the palm of your hand to bring tuna just to the edges of each sandwich. Melt a small amount of butter in a skillet over low heat and toast sandwiches until cheese melts and bread is golden brown, about 2 minutes on each side. Transfer to cutting board and cut in half on diagonal. Serve immediately.
Charred-Rosemary Mayonnaise
• 2 stalks fresh rosemary
• 4 cups water
• 1 tsp white vinegar
• 1 large egg, cracked
• 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
• 1 tsp Dijon mustard
• 3/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• Reserved tuna oil
Lightly char rosemary (hold stems with tongs and rotate through burner flame for about 10 seconds), strip leaves, and finely chop (yields about 1 tbsp). Bring 4 cups water to boil, reduce to simmer, and add vinegar. Ease egg into water, cooking until whites set but yolk is still runny, about 2 minutes. Transfer egg (as dry as possible) to blender (or bowl of food processor) with lemon juice and Dijon mustard. Slowly add oils, processing until thick and creamy. Add rosemary. Makes about 1 cup.
A few terms you wish you never knew.
Alabama Hot Pocket- The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin'. The term "Alabama" originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves "Porky Piggin'" the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old redneck boys, when bored, would fuck pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin' follow-up procedure, one must take a massive shit onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin' the girl... repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough.
Rusty Trombone- The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.
Birmingham Booty Call- Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.
Rusty Trombone- The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.
Birmingham Booty Call- Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
First thing that comes to peoples' minds after they shit their pants...
The average individual: "Oh shit!"
The fisherman: "Oh shit!"
The professor: "Oh shit!"
The gritball: "Oh shit, I better do something about that soon."
Me: "Shit, shit, shit... Wait whose pants are these?"
The old gentleman at the nursing home: "Great... I'll finally get some human interaction."
The pants: "Yo asshole. Go sit on a toilet. That's the third time you've shit on me this week."
The fisherman: "Oh shit!"
The professor: "Oh shit!"
The gritball: "Oh shit, I better do something about that soon."
Me: "Shit, shit, shit... Wait whose pants are these?"
The old gentleman at the nursing home: "Great... I'll finally get some human interaction."
The pants: "Yo asshole. Go sit on a toilet. That's the third time you've shit on me this week."
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Prof Klickberg-Tres Tard
I've done it--I left the house, after a long lunch, with my computer laptop briefcase in order to appear to my stepmom (and my dad when I come back in with it dutifully slung across my chest and right shoulder) that I actually have something of consequence to do. No, I've nothing to do except for waiting in my parked car at the Dana Point Harbor, writing this, "preparing" to listen to the rest of Disc Two of that Truman Capote-sounding faggot Dave Sedaris reading his stories, and possibly reading the Van Gogh Letters Vol. Three, all the time waiting for a phone call from the SC TIMES and from Jesse who needs me to do some stuff for our fledgling clothing line. Oy. I wonder if this is how Daniel Johnston ever felt. Although, he had a job at McDonald's, didn't he? That possibly kept his busy.
I am going to regret these days when I'm an old man. These days of no consequence, of no progress, or of no production. Day in and day out, I accomplish nothing, I see no one but the black-haired, doe-eyed barista at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf round 4pm. I drive, I read, I watch a movie during my makeshift lunch. I wake up late, I take my time. This grows weary. I grow enervated with the Nothing of these tired, stilted days. Stale, stultified, and sickly. O, what am I doing with myself? This waiting for what? If only I had a friend, a confidant with whom to spend my endless hours... If only...
[I want this to go FASTER. This is not going fast enough. I want everyone to know who I am already; I want there to be NO QUESTION.]
I am going to regret these days when I'm an old man. These days of no consequence, of no progress, or of no production. Day in and day out, I accomplish nothing, I see no one but the black-haired, doe-eyed barista at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf round 4pm. I drive, I read, I watch a movie during my makeshift lunch. I wake up late, I take my time. This grows weary. I grow enervated with the Nothing of these tired, stilted days. Stale, stultified, and sickly. O, what am I doing with myself? This waiting for what? If only I had a friend, a confidant with whom to spend my endless hours... If only...
[I want this to go FASTER. This is not going fast enough. I want everyone to know who I am already; I want there to be NO QUESTION.]
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
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45 Minute Discofied Re-Workout
Fate (Todd Terje ) - Chaka Khan
Far Beyond (U-Tern) - Locksmith
Cola Bottle Baby - Edwin Birdsong
Street Player - Chicago
Off The Wall - Michael Jackson
Show Me The Way To Go - The Jacksons
You Can't Hide From Yourself - Teddy Pendergrass
Dance With You - Carrie Lucas
Come Let Me Love You - Jeanette Lady Day
Wear it Out (ATOC) - Stargard
Lets Love dance (Krivit )- Gary's Gang
Funknova - Wood Brass & Steel
Haven't You Heard - Patrice Rushen
Get Down Saturday Night - Oliver Cheatam
Hustlin - Black Ivory
Mike Tull - 45 Minute Discofied Re-Workout
Far Beyond (U-Tern) - Locksmith
Cola Bottle Baby - Edwin Birdsong
Street Player - Chicago
Off The Wall - Michael Jackson
Show Me The Way To Go - The Jacksons
You Can't Hide From Yourself - Teddy Pendergrass
Dance With You - Carrie Lucas
Come Let Me Love You - Jeanette Lady Day
Wear it Out (ATOC) - Stargard
Lets Love dance (Krivit )- Gary's Gang
Funknova - Wood Brass & Steel
Haven't You Heard - Patrice Rushen
Get Down Saturday Night - Oliver Cheatam
Hustlin - Black Ivory
Mike Tull - 45 Minute Discofied Re-Workout
Actual Craigslist Posting - Dirty Panties
Reply to: pers-640948210@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-04-13, 12:01PM PDT
Do you have a panty fetish? Do dirty undies turn you on? Do you want a steady supply of worn panties that you can roll around in? I'm a sexy 23-year-old teacher who gets off on knowing that YOU are walking around with my dirty panties in your pocket. Unfortunately, I must keep my anonymity, which means no sexy rendezvous or pics. Email me if you wanna know how to get them. Each pair $30 or $40 for an extra dirty pair.
Do you have a panty fetish? Do dirty undies turn you on? Do you want a steady supply of worn panties that you can roll around in? I'm a sexy 23-year-old teacher who gets off on knowing that YOU are walking around with my dirty panties in your pocket. Unfortunately, I must keep my anonymity, which means no sexy rendezvous or pics. Email me if you wanna know how to get them. Each pair $30 or $40 for an extra dirty pair.
10 Days in the Life of Mindy "Lock and Load" Rose
Below is a personal account of a post dui arrest and subsequent stay in San Diego jail.
Enjoy...
Hello my dearest friends,
I know you’ve all been doing nothing but worrying about my for the past 10 daysduring my retreat at Sheriff Joe Camp, so I decided to give all of you the 411on what life will be like for you should you decide to get behind the wheel ofa car while inebriated and how to deal with the other thugs in the yard.
The first day was probably the worst/best day. Worst because of the nerves. Best because you realize that it’s not going to be as bad as you thought. They takeyour picture and your fingerprints. If you wanna be a baller, you try to look as rapist as possible in your pic. If you wanna do it up Mindy Rose style, you smile as big as you can and squint your eyes shut so you look like your name is Flo. They keep you in a holding cell for 7-9 hours with 10 other people. There will be a middle aged Indian woman named Sah-BEE-Kah who is a self-proclaimed active alcoholic and recovering crystal meth addict. The entire time, she gets all of the attention by doing impressions of her mom, telling stories of her second husband’s awful sexual prowess and closet homosexuality, and recalling how she wept the first time she had an orgasm at the age of 35 from a vibrator. Amongst the others will be married/divorced folk who got too drunk at an office party and passed out at a stop light, hipsters in their mid-20s who enjoy the occasional dabbling in crack, and meth/esctascy-addicted Morman mothers of 4 who decided it would be appropriate to curl their hair and put on a full face of make-up before jail. You sit around in a circle facing each other because that is the only way to sit. Everyone bonds. Sah-BEE-Kah tells jokes. And you feel jealous that you are not as funny as her.
When they decide to release you from the holding tank the handcuff you to oneother person. You say, “Hey! We’re bracelet buddies!” Then, you feel stupid because no one thought it was funny. The handcuffs are pink because Sheriff Joe thinks they are demeaning for people with penises. I thought they were cute. After a few more hours of bullshit, you start to try and flirt with the Detention Officers. They tell you to stop talking or else they’re going to“Roll you up!” You think it sounds fun, but later you find out that being rolled up means you’re taken to “O-yard” where bi-curious predation is a certainty. Finally, around dusk you get to Tent City. Tent City is a large yard with a bunch of large military tents that fit 11 bunk beds each. There is a fence in between that separates the men from the ladies. On the girls’ side,there are 6 sleeping tents and then a common area tent which has a TV. Cigs, pencils with erasers, and tampons are not allowed. There is a bathroom that is kind of like the communal bathrooms in the dorms but there are no doors on the stalls and no curtains in the shower. You don’t sleep at all the first night because it is cold and you haven’t mastered the art form of turning your bunkbed into a cocoon of heat. People make weird sounds. You think it might be that girl in the bunk bed beneath you is masterbating so you toss and turn really hard to shake the bed and try to mess up her groove. You don’t eat the food. After your first 48 hours, you get to go home for work release and take the best shower of your life.
The rest of it is pretty much a breeze. You learn the sweet lingo, some new dirt jokes, the art of smuggling in contraband, how to make your own tampons, and you run laps around the yard like a gerbil and convince people you’re training for the marathon. You ask a 48-year-old divorcee with a snaggle tooth if she’ll show you her fake boobs but she says no. You hate the girl who sleeps in the bunk beneath you so you step on her bed constantly and steal her treats. If you wanna be the coolest kid on the playground you have to have at least two boyfriends and one girlfriend from the “O-yard.” To prove that you have a girlfriend you have to show everyone how she marked her territory with a hickey on your neck. It helps if you’re an overweight chola with penciled-on eyebrows who knows a few impressing card tricks. If you wanna be a the baddest bitch in town, find the leader of the cigarette syndicate on the men’s side andsmuggle in a pack of cigs in one of your cavities (asshole or vag). Sell it onthe yard for 3 bones a dill and beat up any dirty vagina whore who tries to sell them for $2 a cig.
Once you are the master of your domain it will be time to leave. You go out the same way you came in. They wake you up in the middle of the night and put you in a holding cell for several hours with people even cooler than the people you came in with. I was blessed enough to be able to spend my last few hours in jail with the real queen bees of Sheriff Joe’s town who had to wear stripes. Most of them were heroine addicts with a tooth count that ranged from 2 to 10. The rest were pregnant or insane or all of the above. One was actually a celebrity fugitive featured on America’s Most Wanted.
All in all, it was the most interesting experience I have ever had. You learn how to develop extremely awkward social skills, how to make sure to inject a curse word into every sentence you speak, and you catch up on some really good ready. Your crossword puzzle skills also improve, if you are into that sort of thing. Oh, and to top it all off, you decide to become gay. I hope my survival guide to Tent City will serve and an excellent guide to your future endeavors. It took me longer to write this than I’d like to admit, (partially because mycomputer was slow and partially because I’m trying to impress you all with mywit and cynicism). But we all know that out of all of you, probably only Abby laughed out loud because she’s an idiot. Anyway, I love you all. Thanks for your support. Let’s make this a sweet learning for all of us and try not to make stupid decisions. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! And Happy Drinking and Driving!”
Love, Mindy “lock n load” Rose
Keepon
This little yellow robot is alive...
Keepon is a small yellow robot designed to perform emotive and attentive exchange with human interactants (especially children) in the simplest and most comprehensive way.
Monday, April 14, 2008
New single
Somebody, Somewhere’ is the new single from indie heroes Cazals.With it’s strutting guitars, and angular attitude it’s a massive hit in the making and a bonafied Summer anthem.
http://www.maisonkitsune.fr/gifts/cazals/
Plastic bag animals
He (or she) ties the bags to the ventilation grates above the subway lines so that when the subway rushes through underneath, the animal jumps up and springs to life.
Italian breakfast sandwich
Ingredients
• 4 to 6 thin slices (about 4 oz) sopressata or dry-cured Italian salami
• 1 egg
• 2 thick slices sourdough bread
• 2 slices (about 2 oz) prosciutto
• 2 thin slices (about 2 oz) fresh mozzarella
• 2 paper-thin slices red onion, soaked in ice water for 2 minutes
• 4 large basil leaves
Method
In a skillet over low heat, fry salami until lightly crisp and fat is rendered, about 2 minutes per side. Remove and set aside. In the same skillet, fry egg sunny-side up. Remove and set aside. On one piece of bread, layer salami, prosciutto, mozzarella, and drained red onion; close with remaining slice. Place in same skillet, pressing down on the sandwich with the palm of your hand, and lightly toast on both sides. Remove, open sandwich, and layer egg and basil on bottom half. Close, slice on the diagonal, and serve.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
prison pen pals
Hello,
My name is Kimberly Crawford.
I am an African American female, 39 years old. 5' 6". 180
pounds, dark brown eyes, black hair. I like both females and males. I am very much single, seeking a female or male or both to be my pen-pal. I play no games. I am kind, loving, gentle soul who is very honest, trustworthy, sincere and loyal. I enjoy many things such as bowling, movies, romantic dinners, traveling and reading good books. I love to meet different people from all over the world. You can be rich or poor. I don't care. I don't judge people, that's no in my heart. I am a very simple person, who enjoys the simple things in life and a good conversation. I can be naughty or nice, sometimes. I am very much a sweet heart. If you write you 
won't be disappointed!
My name is Kimberly Crawford.
I am an African American female, 39 years old. 5' 6". 180
pounds, dark brown eyes, black hair. I like both females and males. I am very much single, seeking a female or male or both to be my pen-pal. I play no games. I am kind, loving, gentle soul who is very honest, trustworthy, sincere and loyal. I enjoy many things such as bowling, movies, romantic dinners, traveling and reading good books. I love to meet different people from all over the world. You can be rich or poor. I don't care. I don't judge people, that's no in my heart. I am a very simple person, who enjoys the simple things in life and a good conversation. I can be naughty or nice, sometimes. I am very much a sweet heart. If you write you won't be disappointed!
Sex - Female
DOB - 12/13/67
Seeking - Women, Men, Donations
Race - African American
Religion - Catholic
Convicted Of - Murder
Release Date - Life with Possibility of Parole after 20 Years
Kimberly Crawford # 15775784
Coffee Creek Correctional Facility
P O Box 9000
Wilsonville, OR 97070 USA
Kenny
The cover says it all really. If you were sailing through the islands in a timber yacht on a summer afternoon this album would be your ideal traveling companion.You Need A Man/Coming To You - Loggins & Messina
Boiling
http://aolradio.podcast.aol.com/aolmusic/mp3s/sally_shaprio_jackie_junior_%5Bjunior_boys_remix%5D.mp3
Download: 'Jackie Junior' (Junior Boys Remix) (MP3)
Download: 'Jackie Junior' (Junior Boys Remix) (MP3)
Studio apt.
Shes been here since 2am its 4pm, its raw.
She drank my last San P.
I need to replenish these fluids.
I like her lips
She drank my last San P.
I need to replenish these fluids.
I like her lips
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